7 Years

7 years is a long time to be out of the work force.  I go back in today and I am excited.  It will be good to make money for the family again and nice to be around people. I am nervous about silly things, you know like what happens if I have to go to the bathroom?  I probably will have to ask permission....that is a really strange thing to think about.  Then I worry, what if the people I work with don't like me?  That is actually my old way of thinking though, and I am trying to correct that.  I am a really friendly, capable person so if they don't like me it is probably on them.  One of the things I am striving to do is to not let myself be defined by other people's perceptions of me.

I feel grateful to have been able to stay at home with my family for all these years.  A lot of people never get to do that.  I can't believe how fast 7 years goes by.  So much has changed in my life since I last held a job.  7 years ago we were living in  a trailer.  I was pregnant for my youngest but she hadn't yet arrived.  My son was five and my oldest daughter was 8.  I drove a car instead of a minivan!!  My grandpa was still alive and he and my grandma were still living in their house.  Things were very different.

We as a family have had many changes in that time just like every family I guess.  We have had our successes and our losses.  I just mostly am so happy that no matter what happened I was there for it all.

The great thing about this job is that I only have to be there part time.  During the school year the kids won't even be aware of my absence for the most part because I will be at work while they are at school.  I will still be available to help with homework and to drive to practices.  I will still be there when they get off the bus excited or sad.  I like to be the first person to hear about their day and lucky for me that is isn't going to change.

I am nervous and excited to see what this new change brings! Here's to the next 7 years!!!
Wish me luck!

After

So this is the mostly finished version.  I have one more coat of wax to do on top but other than that it is all finished.  I am mostly pleased with this for my first try doing something like this. There are some areas that don't look perfect but I don't think that anyone else would notice them except for me. I am glad to know that waxing is so much easier than I anticipated.  I can't wait for the wax to cure so I can start working on my bedroom.  

The steps I took to achieve this look are as follows.

I started by cleaning the piece with odorless mineral spirits. As you can tell from the before picture it was very nicotine stained even after I cleaned so I was a little nervous as I waited an hour for the mineral spirits to dry. 

Before I began painting I had to first use 220 sand paper on the top of the desk because it was made of Formica and I wanted to use less coats of the chalk paint.

I then started on my first coat of Annie Sloan Chalk Paint.  I chose Old White because I thought it would compliment the style of the desk.  I have to say I still feel the same way I really like the way it looks.  

I used this Annie Sloan brush to apply the paint.  I invested in this more expensive brush because I plan to do a lot more pieces in the upcoming months and I have heard that these brushes if treated well last forever!

Next was the finishing step of using the Annie Sloan Soft Wax.  This is the step I am almost finished with.  I just need to do one more coat and I am finished.

This is the wax brush that I used. Again I invested a little extra money to get a good brush that would hold up well.

That is how I had my desk go from:

To this:

Before

I have been working on this desk for a few weeks now.  I purchased it back in the late fall and thought all winter about fixing it up.  This picture is the before. In a couple of days I will be all set to show you guys the after.  I am going to put the first coat of wax on this afternoon and the last tomorrow after my first day of work.  Then it should be done.  

I have to say it has been harder than I imagined in my head, but I like the groove that I get into when I am working on it.  I find it kind of peaceful working on an even paint job and then sanding between coats.  

I also like the idea of taking something that was looking old and worn out and making it new.  I have hopes of learning different refinishing techniques so I can build rooms around pieces of furniture. The idea I have for this desk is redoing my room in French Provincial.  I have a pretty good vision coming into view in my mind.  I  am hoping I can pull it off. 

Lots to do today.  Hope you guys have a great day!! 

Poetry and Painting

I started my new painting class which is a whole lot of fun.  I am terrible at it as you can see but I am enjoying learning about lines and depth.  It is a lot of fun and I have even started sketching a little bit.  This is a picture I drew of a jug.

While it is no where near perfect I am really proud of the progress I made in just a short time.  I am enjoying learning about something I don't know anything about.  It is truly so much fun.

I also went last night to a reading a friend of mine did of his writing. He was so brave and so talented.  I was very inspired by it and I started thinking about how long it has been since I have written and shared any poetry of my own.   I wrote something this morning hope you guys like it:

It Is Right

There is a difference in the step

When walking with purpose

Happy

Head held up high

Forgetting to question myself

Feeling the sun on my face

Feeling beautiful

Having it run from the tip of my toes to the top of my head

Believing in me

Truly learning that the tiny imperfections are what make it interesting

Forgiving myself

For the for the times I wasn’t enough

For the times I didn’t know how to do anything but hide

Knowing that I alone would find the answers of who I could be

I can write

I can Paint

I can SIng

I can DANCE

I CAN SMILE

I can do any old thing I want to do and have peace with it

I don’t even have to be good at it

Or be the best at it

I can just be me

I am enough

I don’t have to live up to any labels they have affixed to me

I can climb out of the box and hang out on the ledge

I don’t have to self destruct

Or self medicate

I can grow with purpose

I can change the narrative

I did not know that

I thought I was stuck in the story I was in

 but I am not

I can be anything

It is okay to say I

It is okay to be selfish

It is okay to drink in cool breezes and powerful sunsets

It is okay to say NO

When I don’t feel like it

When something makes me uncomfortable

When my boundaries are not being respected

It is okay to say Yes

To something different

To meet new people who think about life differently

To step outside of my comfort zone

To try something new

To color outside of the lines

It is okay to be more than I ever dreamed possible

To be a loving wife/mother/daughter/sister/friend

To be obsessed with dreams and what they mean

Both literally and figuratively

To stare up at the sky and get consumed by it

It is okay to be lonely

It is okay to be in a crowd

It is okay to laugh as loud as I want

As hard as I want

It is okay to be right here where I am today

 In fact it is more than okay

         It is Right