21, 22 Better late than never

I needed a few mental health days.  I have been in a serious funk. Here are some flowers in case you are in a mood too!

Maybe it is the fact that this winter just won't freaking end or maybe this hair issue is the straw that has broken the camel's back (that camel being me). It is sometimes damn near impossible to keep my head up.  I haven't written because I like to keep this blog on a somewhat happy note and I am not feeling that at all.  I am feeling like 20 years of various illnesses and health issues that are rare, unheard of, or impossible to cure is just about more than I can take.  To put it mildly, I am so sick of it.

That being said, I gave myself some time to wallow in my own self pity, and now I am moving on from it.  Even if I did have a couple of moments this weekend when I sincerely considered Brittany Spears-ing my hair.  I figured if I shaved it all off perhaps the growing bald spots would all just blend together.  Unfortunately due to having the shots it would be all full of divots. So then I would be bald and misshaped and I just can't see myself pulling that off.  So instead I ask for you guys, if you feel inclined to post your favorite headband and hat ideas in your comments.

As for my journey in the world of healthier eating  this weekend was a bit interesting for me.

 Saturday throughout the day I was able to keep my healthy eating on track for most of the day.  I wasn't feeling well Saturday and I ended up having a slice of pizza and a couple of boneless wings that my hubby had picked up for dinner because I wasn't going to cook.  I thought it would taste so amazing which it did for the first couple of bites but then it mostly tasted greasy.  I think that will help with me wanting pizza anytime soon.  I think I prefer my treats to be in the sweet instead of the greasy.

I woke up Sunday feeling so sad.  It started after I took my shower and realized that soon I won't be able to cover up my spots without a hat or some really crafty headband.  It really made me feel upset.  I couldn't stop crying.  It is making me feel sad even typing about it.  I don't really consider myself a vain person but the idea of someone seeing my spots makes me feel sick to my stomach.

The good news is that I made it back on track with the healthy eating.  It is becoming routine enough that I don't really feel bothered by it so much anymore.  I have also found if I allow myself indulgences now and then it tends to make me stop thinking about that bad food so much.   I also like using all my left over veggies for lunch the next day.   

I am sorry this isn't more upbeat, hopefully Monday's recap will be more my normal / positive self.

Progress: Getting closer to a month long journey and I feel some things are becoming habits.
Notes:  Research kick ass Hats and Headbands