Today I think I want to talk about how stress can affect eating habits. I wasn't sure whether or not to talk about this. Then I figured that there isn't much point in doing this blog if I am not going to be honest about the mistakes, slip ups, and missteps I have and then for me to take the time to pinpoint what happened.
Some mornings are harder than others to get ready. When I get out of the shower I often wait as long as possible to go to the mirror to do my hair. I can be in the best mood ever and moments later be moved to tears trying to cover the increasingly large bald patch in the front of my head. I am still amazed after dealing with this for months on end how devastating it can feel.
If I have a bad morning this is definitely something that causes stress for me. Today was a bad morning for me. I got up and stuck to the routine I have had going. All the while in a pretty damn good mood. The warm weather makes me truly giddy. After I got out of the shower I avoided the mirror and continued doing all the things I needed to do. Eventually there was no more waiting I had to get ready to go see my grandma. I needed to get my hair in place.
It was bad, no matter which way I tried to part my hair a bald spot was showing. Unfortunately I have two very larger spots and then tons of dime to quarter size patches...as I got increasingly aggravated I thought about chucking the brush at the mirror, a common thought on mornings like these, but as usual I didn't. Eventually I got the spots all covered. Not all mornings are that bad...sometimes it just falls perfect in a matter of seconds and I don't get worked up at all. If there is an upside to dealing with this all these months it is that the impact in the morning doesn't last nearly as long as it used to. I was pretty frustrated but a minute later I had put it out of my head and got on with my day. Even chatted on the phone while I finished getting ready.
I went to see my grandma at the home and then stopped at the store to pick up a chicken and some odds and ends. While there, the hubby and I were talking about what a nice day it was and how we could use the grill and cook burgers. So we planned that, and I bought potatoes to make fries. I was at the store and should have bought a sweet potato for myself while I was there but I didn't. I was thinking I could come up with something at home. Looking back at the moment though I can't help but think that my tumultuous morning routine may have been a factor.
When I got back home I still kept with my normal routine, making choices to eat healthy. I ate my ham and a ton of red peppers at lunch. I also was able to go outside for a nice brisk walk!!
When my son got home, I chose a healthy snack for myself while getting him his. In my mind I was still having an internal struggle. As my other two came home from school I was met with a stressful phone call. One of those calls that brings a situation where you can't reason with a person and there is truly nothing you can do to put a positive spin on it. I think this was the tipping point for me.
I took the time to peel the potatoes and cut them myself all the while thinking you shouldn't be having this. As I put them into the fryer while my husband was outside cooking I still continued to tell myself I didn't need them, I wasn't going to have them. Even as we sat down to dinner, I was trying to tell myself I wasn't going to eat them.
As I looked at my dinner, my burger with no bun I then justified it to myself, you know how we do that..."I am not having a bun, I am being good about that so I can have fries." I did not go crazy, I did not eat very many but I was surprised to find that they didn't taste very good and they definitely didn't set well in my stomach. I felt a mixture of guilt and just plain nausea from eating the greasy food.
I keep wishing I had baked the fries. If I had baked them I would not have felt bad about it at all. It was the fact that I fried them and that after all my reading I think I am gleaning understanding about what that fried food does to your body.
I realize that was a bit in depth to go about a handful of fries, but I really want this blog to be about the journey I am on and I feel like this was the most honest way to go about it.
Progress: Feel more motivated than ever after my first nasty slip up
Also I was proud of my exercise portion of the day
Notes: No more deep frying oven fries only! Also get myself some sweet potatoes already.
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